Try it, you'll like it

Ballet princess
New experience
Trying out the exotic in the safety of the ghetto
Community center

Paper thin, transparent even, tiny frizzy haired damaged goods

Take a spot to line up, dear ones.

Timid teeny tiny steps to the line
Amid teeny tiny dancers more experienced by time

Not there! This is my spot. Move!

Now crumble
Now cry the ugly cry
The walls have been breeched, and tiny one begs escape
To the false maternal arms
Those weapons in disguise
Run away tiny broken
Put ballet away
Don't look back

Just for me

If I just wanted to write
And I wrote what I wanted
Would the readers want what I wrote?

If the pen penned the verse
And the screen mirrored terse
Would it free us indebted serfs?

Would words stir the fallout
And the hearts voice curt curses
If voice was given to mind?

If sweaty palms and palpitating
Beat not fingers to retreat
But fought to shape taboo to display
And give voice to shaky beliefs
Would conscience sigh relief
However brief
If writing were just for me?

New Girl

Don't strive for the attention, reconciliation with or approval of someone who has rejected and insulted you.
Why for the stress?
Why for the striving?
Why for the approval?
The madness of the seeking?
What you avoiding?
What you not seeing?
Commence deep thought thinking in the labrynth of mind seeking.
You put away deep soul searching; for approval of deity's path leading.
Put away empty promises.
Saying yes to what should be said no to.
Stopped it. Stopped it all.
Now go.
Go to the place that keeps heart palpitating.
Soul gravitating toward the easy.
Toward the palatable.
The palpable.
The good enough of the quiet sharp inhalation of not saying what's on mind.
Unthinking of the effects.
Of the consequences of the now.
Of the process to become my person.
Growing up when already an adult.
Already an entity; an independant full blown adult.
Now mature.
Now do the thing that makes so afraid.
Ties you to rumpled sheets in stale bed.
Ties you, binds you, behind unthinking screens.
Others' dreams.
Helping all but the me.
Catering to all but the me.
Driving all but the me.
Dare to risk egg on facing.
No thank you.
Just perfect tiny craft to win a bit of the green.
Who says the tiny craft can't open to the tangible?
The talent.
The gifted.
The little bit of shine that the little one was denied.

question the wonder

the balance between believing and doing
between words read and things practiced
sacrifice need be shown through actions
actions unable to take flight for fear
for fear of the backlash
for fear of the not having
not having the needs met as the overdue bills file in
come in
traipse in
have no idea how the unrest and uneasiness will play out
how the questions will be answered
dismissed to the core in light of the anger
in light of the pain
the embarrassment
the harassment
the no-good-thing-can-come-of-you attitude
should thoughts and questions be squashed for the presence of the anger?
do these questions base themselves in anger? in embarrassment?

smiling gentle coos smile the heart
lift the eyebrows furled in deep thought
deep thought of abstract
of doing and thinking
wonder where the wonder will wander to

Family Room

Slumber sweet tiny nothing
worries melt away
in gentle rolling waves
Bliss relaxing the day away

Rush in stinging pit in gut
Panic throwing mini upright

Alone

Alone

Alone

respite has run away
   slumber ripped out of grasp

Momma's gone again.

Sneaky Momma, where've you gone?
Off to buy a six pack
 
      slurred laughter trumps pain.

Highland Duplex II

Night time caught in the rain
Playing family
New guy
Mom's friend
Leaping from bus to curb to puddly grass
Glow in the dark necklaces
Souvenirs from Fiesta
Smiles on tired small faces
Kisses goodnight on cheeks

Smiles all gone
Beer cans overflow stained kitchen trash can
Fear keeps the lights switched off

Tiny nothing, what wakes you?

New guy
On
Top
Of
Mom

Fists
Pounding
Her
 face

Tiny nothing on his back
Exerting every ounce of strength to make him stop
Nothing works

Now police send him walking
T-shirt hung coolly over naked shoulder
It's stopped raining


Tiny nothing sitting on neighbors' couch
Every light on
Legs shake
Eyes stare
No blinking
Big people incoherently talk

Legs
Don't
Stop
Shaking